Traditional v modern approaches to wedding etiquette

Traditional v modern approaches to wedding etiquette

For every traditional wedding, there’s another that is fiercely modern, and many that fall in between.  Alan Sabol, General Manager of Bruisyard Hall, offers some advice on what approach you may wish to consider for your perfect day….

Have you decided to break from tradition or will your wedding still include something old, something new, something borrowed or something blue? Perhaps your decision is based on your tastes or the influence of family, friends and budget.  Even if you have decided to opt for the modern wedding, it’s still a good idea to understand traditions and how your might want to follow them, put your own modern twist on things, or just ignore and do your own thing!


Traditional: ‘Love honour and Obey’ and other sentiments until recently were pretty much the norm

Now: The sentiments are the same, but now anything goes. Many couples write their own unique vows, using quotes from their favourite poems or songs, and generally make it as funny or meaningful as suits their relationship

Dress code

Traditional:  Black tie, morning suits and formal, this was the traditional option for most male guests, with gowns and dresses for the ladies.  A female guest wearing white, would of course, be frowned upon.

Now: These days we tend to be much less formal, although on the ‘smart’ side of ‘smart casual’.  A  pair of trousers for male guests, perhaps a suit, although nobody is going to stop you taking your suit jacket off as the evening continues.  For ladies, a wedding is a chance to dress up and find that perfect dress, although most sensible women still side-step a white, off-white or cream coloured dress for fear of provoking the ire of the bride.

First dance

Traditional: A slow, romantic song for the bride and groom, followed by a second song where the bride dances with her father and the groom dances with the bride’s mother. At which point other guests usually make their way onto the dance floor.

Now: We’ve all seen the YouTube videos. It’s safe to say that your first dance can be anything you want, from a rumba routine to a choreographed breakdancing number, anything goes!

Wedding gifts

Traditional: Once upon a time, the gift giving was easy – unmarried couples would move into their first home after marriage, and often received homemaking gifts from wedding guests.

Now:  Times have moved on and many couples already live together before they marry, which means they’ve already bought a decent kettle and toaster. Asking for donations or vouchers towards the honeymoon, setting up an online wedding gift wish list, or simply stating that cash is preferred is all perfectly acceptable these days.

However you decide to enjoy your marriage, we’ve got a venue that suits both modern and traditional tastes. Email or call 01728 639 000 and tell us what you want from your dream wedding.

Photo credit:  Amber Rose Photography

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